Dating is no Fairy Tale.. The Exception to the Rule
Dating…Oh, dating in the US… I could probably write 10 articles about this topic and still would have something to say. Where should I start, where should I stop?! Dating in the states is definitely a whole other level than in Germany. I had my fair share of experiences, some of them I’d rather forget and some of them I’ll never let go.
I made my first experiences with American men while I was working in Northern California as an Au Pair. Since I knew that I had to go back to Europe after a year anyways, I wasn’t taking the dating game out here too seriously. But what I expected was at least some respect and decency. Oh boy, do I remember being out in the bars and clubs and guys just starting to grind on us girls without even saying “Hi” first. Back up dude, we don’t do that in Europe.
Where I am from, people come up to you and AT LEAST introduce themselves first. Sometimes with a really plump line, but at least they say something instead of just expecting you to rub your body parts against them. So, needless to say, that was one of the first things that set me off about the dating game over here.
But my doubt in dating American men changed actually after I moved back to Germany in 2009. The fateful incident occurred in March 2010 during a night out in Dusseldorf’s old town with one of my closest girlfriends. All we had planned was getting a couple drinks at an Irish Pub and catching up since we hadn’t seen each other in a while.
During our deep conversation, my friend suddenly glimpsed over to the bar and pointed out a pretty cute guy. I looked over to see if he was as nicely looking as my friend had said, and what can I say, she was damn straight right. I know how cheesy this next sentence is going to sound, but it is the ugly truth. As soon as our eyes met, there was something in the air. My heart skipped a beat when he made his way over to our table and started talking to us.
That was the first plus point he earned. He scored the second one when he turned out to be an American who was in Dusseldorf for a business trip. In the back of my mind I never expected anything more to happen due to the fact that he lived in the states and was about to head back home from his work gig in two days, so all we did that night was flirting with each other with no intention of anything more, at least from my side. I had no idea that this encounter was about to turn my whole life around.
As the end of the night approached and my girlfriend and I where about to make our way home, the guy reached into his pocket and handed me his business card. He also said that he had an European number for the next couple days and that he would love to hang out one more time before heading back to America. I have to admit, I was a little smitten and hoped I could get to see him one more time before leaving town.
Because I am one of those individuals who never want to give anything away too soon, I waited one day till I reached out to him again. Or, as I should say, tried. As soon as I dialed his number, I received an automated system telling me that the number was not available anymore. So I contacted him a day later through Facebook and email, wishing him a safe trip back home. I never expected to actually hear back, but from that email on, we stayed in constant contact.
Since I had booked a trip to go back to SF to visit my former host family anyways, I decided to also visit him. By that time, he was about to transition from Washington D.C. to Huntington Beach. I had never been to beautiful HB before, so it was just another bonus for me to take on a road trip down the coast to pay SoCal an extended visit. And what can I say, that vacation changed so much for me. I fell in love, both with a man and with the city I am so happy I can call my home now. Sounds cheesy again, right?
Anne-Kathrin Schulte, is a contributor for CaliforniaGermans.com. She writes on her personal experience of the American Dream as well as on working as an au pair in CA. She was born and grew up in Düsseldorf, Germany, where she completed her degree as a state-approved Kindergarten teacher. After her au pair engagement in the US and a quick return to Germany she decided to attend university in California and moved back to the United States. She has been living in Southern California since 2011.
If you would like to contact Anne-Kathrin, please send an email to californiagermans(at)gmail.com and place her name in the subject line.